Night 12, Days 13 to 14: life’s a beach
Worth a mention:
- Why go to a casino when you can use the electronic pokie machines in the local cafe?
- Beer is sold alongside Coke and water at the morning street market
I leave Matt on a cloudy Tuesday afternoon in Paris and fly one night early for Alicante, Spain, while Matt embarks on the third reboot of his life and settling himself this time in London.
My first taste of Spain is not of the big cities – Madrid or Barcelona – but rather the beaches and relaxed life of Alicante and the south-east coast. It’s here that I meet up with Kim and her friend Malin at Kim’s holiday villa, perched with others on the cliffs that look down to the beaches where we would spend our days for the next week, and out to the Balearic Sea.
Another country, another white night as I land in Alicante and arrived at Kim’s house in Santa Pola just after 9:30pm. The girls had met a couple of Norwegian guys, Daniel and Christopher, the night before and, after a pre-party in Kim’s courtyard, we get a cab into the city and dance at what I think was an Irish pub, filled with locals, international students and other tourists like us.
I was yet to learn that the next 24 hours would become almost ritualistic for the rest of our time in Spain: eating dinner late (by Aussie standards), having a head start on the drinks while the girls got themselves ready then pre-partying at home until closer to midnight, going out to one of many bars and clubs in Alicante city, awaking hangover-free thanks to these miracle rehydration tabs from Sweden, having breakfast around noon then spending five hours at the beach under the hot Spanish sun before retiring to Kim’s villa and doing it all again.
Day 15: how much is a parking ticket in Benidorm?
Road trip. We leave Santa Pola and head for Benidorm. Terra Mitica is a theme park on the outskirts of Benidorm, which is just over an hour away. It’s Spain’s answer to Disneyland where you can ‘visit’ Greece, Italy, the Islands and Egypt and experience authentic attractions from each country such as splash mountain, the giant drop and the upside-down rollercoster. Hearing ‘Heigh-Ho’ and ‘A Very Merry Unbirthday’ in-between the theme music for each country made thing more confusing, expecting Mickey Mouse to surprise me in a toga at any moment as we moved through the park.
The local schools must be empty today with so many kids under 15 ruling this place. And while it’s far from busy here, some rides have a long wait; I’m pretty certain the theme park operators spend their time ‘testing’ the rides just to make us wait longer, stay longer and ultimately spend more money. One of the rollercosters was the wooden type, reminding me of the one at Luna Park. Except this one was so rough and it left the three of us with headaches and sore backs.
We stay the night in a hotel in Benidorm and tuck into some cheap, cheap Spanish red while getting ready for another night out. Walking to the beachfront we pass bars, clubs and restaurants on the foreshore yet opt to settle for some tapas off the main strip. Prawns, lobster, mushrooms and other dishes fill our table. Full, we roll back to the waterfront and drink at a place called Penelope where go-go dancers take the front podiums, drawing everyone’s attention.
And the answer to today’s question? €90. For parking out front of our hotel and not buying a ticket. The blue line-markings obviously didn’t translate ‘for Best Western patrons’ despite how much this made sense independently in our heads, especially as we had included parking in our stay. We were meant to return to Benidorm Town Hall on the Monday to pay it. It still hasn’t been paid and we expect the local authorities to knock on the house in Santa Pola with no answer.
Day 16: my nipples are so hard they could cut glass
Worth a mention:
- McDonald’s drive through is called McAuto
- Petrol here is €1.306 / AUD $1.78
We leave Benidorm for Les Fonts de l’Algar, a waterfall about 30 minutes drive north. It’s another sunny 30°C day, remaining at this and warmer for the entirety of the week-long break. This is starkly contrasted by the temperature of the water by the falls; cold enough to turn men into little boys. One of the girls shared that her nipples were so hard they could cut glass (I won’t name who).
Kim took us to a more secluded part of the falls but getting there was unlike reaching any other part of the falls; we waded through waist-high water, our belongings balanced in our arms, scraping through the narrow gaps and archways of the high rocks. Like every other day here, we alternate between swimming and sun baking, today substituting the sand for some smooth rocks in a secluded part of the falls.
Late that afternoon, our appetites were desperate for food and we ate Paella down the road from falls. Locals next door were hosting their own festival of sorts, Spanish music playing, and loudly, as the three of us struggled to finish the large shallow dish of Paella.
Days 17 to 19: best €20 ever spent on a beach
Worth a mention:
- Duff, yes from The Simpsons, is a disappointing beer and no one is missing out for having not tried this German brew
Looking back, the final three days in Spain were just about maximising our time at the beach. On Sunday, we all got full-body massages, beachside, and after this I opted to have one every day thereafter. My lady, her name escapes me, always managed to find me on the beach and knew when to visit, not too early but not too late in the day. As she massaged my upper legs, her hands always found their way very close to my member; an awkward moment enjoyed by the Kim and Malin as they watched my face react to her movements, and me honestly trying to keep a straight face.
On our plane for Copenhagen, Denmark, we saw the most amazing sunset well above the clouds.
Amazing because it was also 11:05pm.